Letting Go to Move Forward!

If there was a billboard for “holding on,” my face would be on it. I used to hold grudges (with others but more so with myself) so deep, that I ended up losing sight of who I was and growing to be. We get so used to our behaviors, fears, struggles and habits, that we begin to let them define us rather than just being a piece of our story. Sometimes, like myself, we just try to block certain things out and act like they never happened. I’ve learned that’s so unhealthy. You can both accept your past and let it go. Accept Your Past.

There are some of us women who have been through traumatic pasts. It’s okay to cry about it, to be angry about it, to let it change you! What’s most important to remember is that you survived! We are all survivors in some way and we shouldn’t judge. We all have experienced some type of failure that prevents us from reaching a goal. We have all gotten through something that changed us. We should respect each other as such. We all should know how well women can endure pain! You survived!

At the end of the day we have 2 choices; we can get up everyday and have a pity party for ourselves, or we can get up and take the steps we need to heal. Healing was so hard for me. It made me have to look at the ugly I saw in myself and the things that I’ve been through. That can be hard to admit. But the more I accepted and forgave myself and the people who hurt me, the more free I became. Realizing that I can’t hold on to things I can’t change. It’s how I choose to get up everyday and handle it that defines me. Letting go was the best thing I ever did for my mental health and my future. Let Go.

When we hold on, we are literally weighted down. Letting go frees us of that feeling. It allows us to begin to get to know ourselves again. We are able to build on things we like to do. Help another woman. We have the confidence that because we have gotten through our pasts, we can get through any challenges our future presents. Focus Forward.

This week I invite you to my daily challenge. Getting up everyday and choosing to look forward. Choosing not to be held down by anything that has already happened. Knowing that you deserve to grow. Choosing how you will define yourself. Its not easy and some truths will get ugly, especially if you are being real with yourself. Accept. Remember you survived. Let go. Focus Forward. To our future Ladies. THERE SHE GO!

Breathe. Hustle. Be Patient. Be Bold.

I can be the first one to tell you about frustration when it comes to being stagnant. I’ve learned, that frustration, was just the example of impatience. We all want to see immediate results, don’t we ladies? lol. Whether it’s our diets or our goals, when we don’t see results, we start being all over the place trying to see it. Instead of, focusing from the beginning. We have to allow ourselves to be planted in order to grow. 10 toes down.

You could be in school, in your career, busting your ass working multiple jobs or hell doing all 3, and the constant routine makes you feel like it’s never going to end or you’re not getting anywhere. Your goals feel like their getting further from your reach. We all have been there. The first step is to BREATHE. Remember that wherever you are, you can handle this!BREATHE!

Set your plan and don’t underestimate the power of putting it in writing. Give your all in everything you do. Allow yourself to learn and accept criticism. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. We can still think highly of ourselves and accept we have room to grow. Growth doesn’t discriminate based on your level of life. Read more. Put yourself in a position to gain more knowledge in your goals. The more you know, the better you can set your plan to get there. If you feel like you’re in a dead end career, use your time to learn about resumes and how to better yours to apply for jobs that better fit your goals. Show up for yourself. Nourish yourself. HUSTLE.

It’s important to remember that you are not always going to see immediate results and that doesn’t mean to stop the hustle. A plant doesn’t grow immediately. It takes a lot of water and sunlight for it even to sprout through the soil, let alone begin to grow to its peak. We should think the same of ourselves. We can’t stop nurturing ourselves to reach our goals and we also can’t jump back and forth from plan to plan. Be still. Be patient and the work will pay off; whether it’s graduating, getting a new job or starting your own business. BE PATIENT.

Go above and beyond for yourself and your goals! Read that extra chapter, stay that extra hour, get that certification or even pay for that tutor, that trademark! Stand out in everything you do goal-related. Separate yourself. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable and challenged. True growth comes from times of challenge. Prove to yourself, what you already know, that you were built for this. BE BOLD.

I know too often I wanted to give up, when I wasn’t seeing results and I know I’m not alone. Then I realized I would just be giving up on myself. I’ve experienced not being in the present. Being so far in the future of multiple plans forgetting what I’m supposed to be learning TODAY to get there. So this week I challenge you to look around at your surroundings and match them with your goals. Take the necessary steps to nourish yourself to grow to those goals. Be willing to learn lessons and be challenged and never ever give up! Breathe. Hustle. Be Patient. Be Bold. THERE SHE GO!

Motherhood!

I would like to wish the women of TSG! a Happy Mother’s Day! 💜

Let’s be kind today as there are some women who wish to be mothers who cant conceive. There are some women who have lost their mothers. There are some women who have lost their children. There are mothers who have strained relationships with their children and vice versa. Be the reason they may smile today.

Being a mother is no easy task, hell it doesn’t come with a handbook. We mother from our heart and from our own experiences, which are unique to all women. Everyone’s parenting style is different and there is no such thing as perfection. As long as we are showing our children love and growing with them, we are building moments they will always remember. I’m a firm believer that our greatest accomplishment in life is what we leave behind. The values, the memories, the words, the legacy that will live on far beyond us. How many of us still tell our children things our grandmothers said to us? My favorite one “if you can huh, you can hear.” Lol. That’s apart of a legacy.

Isn’t it funny when we first become moms we have all these plans of what we are gonna teach them and how things are gonna go, but in the end it is what our children teach us. They teach us to love, to forgive, to get up when we don’t want to, to push forward. To me, that is the greatest joy of motherhood. I’m better because of my children!

Celebrate yourself today! Relax and be in the moment of the appreciation you receive. Hug your children, mothers and family. Send love to a woman you may know, that needs it today! And in the words of Tupac “since we all came from a woman, Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman…….It’s Time to heal our women, be real to our women” And that starts with us, as women and as mothers!

THERE SHE GO 👑

You are Enough!

We all go through things that make us feel like we aren’t good enough! Whether it be that promotion you just can’t seem to get. That relationship, or lack there of, that makes you question everything good about yourself. It’s a form of acceptance that we as women, too often forget, that we DON’T need. Remember who you are.

It’s natural for us to criticize ourselves when things don’t go how we have planned. Or when we have worked so hard for something and have gotten so close to reach it and have still fallen short, especially in our careers. This doesn’t mean that we aren’t enough, hell we may be too much! For most of us, we are our own worst critic. But when looking inside ourselves please remember that we are already whole. We should not look at ourselves as if we are missing something, when we have all the tools we need to receive everything that is meant for us. And sometimes what is meant for us means we still have some growing to do. We have to revamp or allow ourselves to grow. For example, if you were to put a plant in a bigger pot, it wasn’t missing a thing, the same roots and nutrition go in the bigger pot, it just needed more room to grow. Let’s apply that to our lives. Be whole while leaving yourself room to grow.

If you are in a relationship and you feel like no matter what you do, it’s not good enough. I’d ask you to re-evaluate that relationship. Whether it be a spouse or a friendship, no one should have that power over you! Being around people who don’t celebrate and empower you will alter your mental health, which leads to not feeling good enough. Be around people where your opinion matters, your successes matter and more importantly YOU matter. Sometimes we fight so hard for a relationship, to prove that we are good enough, and we stop using those tools that were given to us and we miss or overlook what is meant for us! (READ THAT BACK) There’s nothing wrong with fighting for your relationships but remember to fight for them as a whole, not as a missing piece. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, searching for one, but you’re not searching for your other half, you are searching for your equal whole. Equally yolked. (READ THAT BACK). You are Enough.

This week I challenge you to look in the mirror everyday and literally say out loud “I AM ENOUGH”. It’s amazing what self reassurance can do. Revamp, replant your self. Remove yourself if necessary. This journey is about you! Selfish…No! Because remember we can’t pour from an empty cup. Utilize the tools that you have, to go out here and be everything you promised yourself you would be. Work on the power of patience to wait for anything that’s yours that hasn’t reached you yet. And most importantly remember that you are already whole! Nobody can give you what you are missing, only you can give that to yourself. I am enough. You are enough. THERE SHE GO!

Healthy is not a size, its a lifestyle!

The weather is starting to get warmer, and I love to see all kinds of women in the produce department, at the gym and tracking their progress. Watching your body transform has to be one of the most humbling, yet empowering experiences. And everyone knows maintaining that healthy lifestyle has to be one of the hardest things we commit to.

The most important thing to remember is “skinny” doesn’t mean healthy. Everyone’s body is different and food reacts uniquely to all of our bodies. But that doesn’t mean we still don’t have a little jealousy of all you women who can eat whatever you want without gaining an inch or a pound. Lol! For a lot of us, we start to gain weight just looking at our favorite foods. Lol. But that’s the thing, a true healthy lifestyle allows us to create a balance between what we need and what we want. Creating a balanced lifestyle.

Let’s be honest, because I’ve done it myself, we create a diet, we set a weight goal and once we reach it or close to it, we forget everything we did to get there. Then before you know it, we are back it again, setting new goals, new diets and it becomes a recycled failure (yup i said it). Instead of really getting to know our bodies: What causes us to bloat, what gives us headaches or acne, what decreases our energy, what raises our blood pressure and so on. Body Awareness.

Once we are “in tune” with our bodies it becomes easier for us to create a healthier lifestyle. In my case it has been coming to grips with having a Pepsi once a week instead of everyday like I was used to. I mean let’s be real Water is not better than Pepsi but it’s better for you. It’s meant replacing a lot of things that I like with the things I need. And although I’ve been smaller, as far as getting all my nutrients, this is the healthiest I’ve ever been. Discipline.

Exercise!!!! When it comes to exercise we got every excuse don’t we? We don’t have time, we can’t afford the gym, we don’t know what we need to be doing. U name it, we’ve heard it or have been guilty of saying it. So I had to ask myself, with all the excuses, is this something you really want? When it came to eating all those fried foods and sweet treats did I make up a million excuses on why I shouldn’t, and if I did, did it stop me from eating them…No! That’s how we got here in the first place! So let’s cut the excuses!! And even if it’s for 20 minutes 3 times out of the week, that’s still an hour more than last week! In this era of social media, I feel the knowledge is endless on different types of exercises for all body types! I also think when I exercise, I feel better, I have more energy overall. I’m still not a size 2, but I can run a mile quicker than I could a year ago and I can squat 70 more pounds than I could last year. Self Comparison Only.

We as women are under so much pressure to look a certain way, when in reality our bodies, our looks, is what separates us; it’s what makes us unique, it’s how we learn to love our own beauty while appreciating the beauty in others. Let’s not be consumed with the idea of a perfect body when your body is already perfect for you. This assumption makes us feel like we shouldn’t eat at all, which isn’t healthy or we become so depressed that we overeat, which also isn’t healthy. Your body may just need some real nutrients and real exercise for you to appreciate it! Your body may just need a lifestyle change and we aren’t getting any younger, so why not start today!

This week I challenge you to stop trying to get skinny, and start trying to get healthy. Create a lifestyle of eating that works for you! Get to know your body and how it reacts to certain foods and begin a lifestyle of balance. Make time to exercise! Use your resources! Be disciplined! This challenge won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Picture all the new energy you will have and how much better you will feel! This is your body, love it and nourish it without putting pressure on it! THERE SHE GO!

Rock Bottom = Rebuild!

I know we have discussed a lot of positivity thus far. And a positive mind frame is imperative to a healthier lifestyle. But let’s be real (which I promised to be), sometimes it feels like the world is coming down on us. No matter which direction we turn, no matter how positive we might be, we hit rock bottom, with our emotions, our finances, our relationships and even our habits. Our Absolute Lowest.

Rock bottom may look different to all of us, but it feels the same. It’s a rut that is so hard to climb out of. We feel hopeless, we look at everything we aren’t able to do or how far we have to go, to get to where we think we will feel whole again. For a lot of us, it’s hard to accept that we are in the negative space to begin with. Accept the Bad with the Good.

Accepting yourself at rock bottom is the first step to rebuilding. Understanding that the Good and the Bad are apart of life, is how we overcome life’s deepest hurts. After all, if only good things happened to us, what would we really learn? The best lessons are taught at rock bottom.

This topic means so much to me personally because I know what it’s like to have to pick yourself up and get out of your own way. The hardest person I ever had to face was myself. Accepting that I wasn’t in a good space and setting small goals to get out of the rut. Whether it be some type of communication, allowing myself to open up, paying off one small bill, having that hard convo within my relationship, forgiving myself. These are small steps that make huge impacts. These are small steps that allowed me to rebuild myself from the ground up. Rebuilding.

And let’s be honest some of us can’t do it alone! And that’s okay too! I highly recommend seeing a therapist and if that’s too huge of a first step, start by surrounding yourself with people who care about your well being. True rebuilding requires sacrifice. Being around people who constantly gossip when you need advice on how to get out of this financial rut is not what you need. Being around people who want to be all in your business but never once ask are you ok is not the help you need to reach your emotions. I think you get the hint here! Sacrifice.

Setting small steps to reach a bigger goal allows you to enjoy the journey of accomplishment. Joy or happiness or the feeling of being “whole” isn’t found in a destination, it’s found in the true acceptance of your journey! And hitting rock bottom is a great foundation to restart and rebuild YOUR journey. You can’t fear yourself, you can’t fear life and you can’t fear negativity. You have to learn what works for you so that as you rebuild, and negativity comes (and it will), you will know how to handle it this time. You will remember what being low taught you and how not to go back that low again. As the quote says “the best lessons are taught at rock bottom, not at the mountain tops”

If you are feeling trapped by negativity, I challenge you to first accept that. Then make small steps to slowly get out of that rut. Surround yourself with genuine, real people. Accept your journey and even if an accomplishment seems small to someone else, it won’t feel like that to you and your people. Remember that. I challenge you all to accept the lessons that come with rock bottom and know that feeling whole within your journey is the real key to happiness! THERE SHE GO!

Stillness. Kindness. Warmness.

We have discussed many topics on things us women need to change, but most times, being still, being kind is all the world really needs. It’s all we really need. Warmness.

We can be so subjective of ourselves. And even though growth and change are mandatory. Small steps in kindness and warmness can be the beginning steps of something bigger. Baby Steps.

Being still is often underrated. Maintaining where we have worked so hard to get, To only desire more right? I know I have been so guilty of this. Instead of learning and enjoying the journey of maintaining, and fully preparing ourselves for the next step. We over exhaust ourselves, which takes the fire out of souls. Stillness.

In an effort to grow and change at an accelerated pace, we overlook things, we overlook people. We become irritated by anyone who gets in our way instead of stopping. Having that conversation. Noticing people. Being Kind. Not knowing if that conversation is the game changer you needed. That person you noticed could be the recommendation your business needed. Or that random act of kindness could touch your soul in a way it never has been. Kindness.

This week I challenge you to be to be kind. To be still. To be warm. Stop 🛑. Enjoy this exact moment. U won’t get it again! THERE SHE GO!