Patience is Essential⏳🌱✨

Patience is defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset. And we wonder why it’s so hard to master? We as women are emotional, so staying calm during the toughest of times seems almost impossible. But in reality what does getting angry or upset do? It may make us feel a sense of relief in the moment, but does it make the goal come any faster? Does it make time go by faster? NO!

Patience has been one of the hardest qualities to conquer in my journey of self discovery, as I’m sure many can relate. One of the biggest reasons is because social media has us searching for instant gratification. We see others winning, we plant our seeds of growth and become frustrated when we don’t see progress as quickly as we want. As the saying goes “the plant doesn’t grow the same day the seed is planted.” And did we ever stop to think that the frustration of impatience could be delaying our progress even more? Think About It!

I started to really learn patience when I started caring for my plants. I was watering my plants one day, bragging about how much it had grown and my brother in law said, “think about how special it would be if we treated ourselves, like we do plants and flowers.” That stuck with me.

Think about it! The time I took to water the plant every week, giving it the nourishment it needed to grow. The weeks it sat in the sunlight, but showed very little progress in growth. The excitement I experienced seeing its first sprout, but does that mean I stop nourishing the plant because I see a little progress, no. Keeping the same routine day in and day out, even on days the plant showed no progress at all. Until one day, I had to switch the pots because it had grown beyond the first one.

To me, the process of caring for my plants is what patience is all about. Its about planting your seeds. Nourishing them by doing the work and not giving up when you don’t see the progress you expect, not getting angry, just keep going. Before you know it, your goal will have blossomed, and the growth you experienced during the patience process will help you replant your goals to the next level.

We all get frustrated, we all get emotional, but lets not let those feelings rush us to incomplete goals, or accomplish things of less quality just to say they are done. Work with yourself and most importantly, have patience with yourself.

THERE SHE GO!

The Journey of Outgrowing 🌱✨

The truth about life is that things and people can both be outgrown. The journey of outgrowing is tough though. At what point do you say this isn’t for me anymore? At what point do you know I’ll talk to this person less and less? The truth is you don’t!

As we grow, we begin to learn more about ourselves. We begin careers and hobbies that shape us into who we are becoming. Sometimes the better version of us demands more, which makes less time for other things and people.

Immediately we feel guilt, especially when it comes to people. When we go months or even years without speaking or making plans with someone who used to be apart or our daily routine… it can be a heavy feeling. Outgrowing isn’t not talking to someone for a few days. That’s just life.

On the flip side, when we feel people pulling away we are immediately offended. Sometimes there could be underlying reasons. But I’m here to keep it real with you Queens. We are all out here trying to win. We can’t be the women we are meant to be and hate on the winner in another woman. If we feel offended that someone is busy growing and pouring into themselves, we should check ourselves.

The common misconception is that outgrowing means that the things and people have stood still. As the saying goes “life goes on.” As we are growing so are others, all on our own paths. Things we liked to do evolve overtime. It’s all a journey.

Outgrowing is apart of growth. We can’t be scared to separate from what we are used to, to become better. What that looks like can be different for all of us.

At the end of the day, you and anyone who truly loves you will want the best for you and will be right where they are supposed to be along your journey! Make your journey your own! Grow & Outgrow 🌱✨

There She Go!

Staying sane amongst the insanity!

It’s a wild time right now, probably the craziest time many of us have ever seen in our lifetime. The COVID 19 pandemic has literally brought us a “new normal.” Our kids are home from school and for many of us mothers that means we don’t have anyone to watch our kids or we are forced to run our households from our place of employment. Lets not even talk about homeschooling, while many of us still have to work. It truly can be the type of stress that causes us to scream.

Many of our fellow sisters are out of work and our entrepreneurs are losing business due to all the closings. Can you imagine trying to figure out how your family is going to eat or even if you will have a job after this idle time? On top of greediness in and out of the stores. People buying more than what is necessary for their personal needs, being rude, overpopulating the stores and not taking seriously social distancing. It almost feels like we will be living in this mode for much longer than we anticipated. THAT will definitely make you go INSANE.

We are all facing something different due to the result of this pandemic and I think that’s the first thing we all need to understand. Some of us are working putting ourselves on the front line, while some of us wish we could be receiving a check. Some of us get to work from home, while others of us are forced to risk our health for the sake of a paycheck. Whatever you are facing, don’t let anyone make you feel like your feelings aren’t adequate. But are we going to stay in our feelings, or are we going to find ways to stay sane through all of this insanity?

The serenity prayer tell us “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” We say it, we share it, we repeat it, but it has come a time where we have to live it. We can’t control this pandemic, we can’t control what results from it. We can control how we choose to handle ourselves and what energy we decide to put out in the insanity.

Along with acceptance is finding our balance. Knowing that sitting in a dark house, not going outside for even a breath of fresh air is going to breed depression. The more depression breeds, the less cleaning, organization or homework we are willing to do. Don’t fall in the trap. Create your new normal, whatever works best for your mental health. Accept that however things were before the pandemic, this is not what they are now. It can be a hard reality pill to swallow, but being in tune with your reality is apart of staying sane.

Don’t be so serious all the time! This is a serious time, but becoming dissolved in the what ifs and fake news can just add to the deterioration of our mental health. Laughter is truly good for the soul. Play games with our kids, tell funny jokes, do something fun at home. Laughter is a positive sensation that can trigger the brain to overcome stress.

Lets not lose ourselves ladies in the insanity of things we can’t control. Lets feel all the feels, be honest with ourselves and lets leave it there. This is surely a strange time, but don’t let it distract you from what keeps you sane at the core.

There She Go!

Mistakes Help Us Grow!

Making mistakes are inevitable. No matter how perfect we try to be or how right we hope all of our decisions are, mistakes are going to happen. Sometimes the mistakes are small and other times they can be life changing. Both times they are meant to be learned from.

We chase this idea of perfection. We try to be perfect. We want the perfect partner. We want the perfect body. The perfect life. I could go on about all the things we all have wished were perfect at some point. The truth is, we have to accept that perfect doesn’t exist.

Living with imperfections can be hard to accept. We know the mistakes we made and sometimes those mistakes can make it harder for us to love ourselves. And we damn sure don’t think that someone else could love us if we expose that side to them. Hell, knowing or rather waiting to see what mistakes someone else has made that are a deal breaker can be just as scary.

Forgiving ourselves can be one of the toughest barriers on our road to self love and self discovery. We keep going. We try to forget about the mistakes we have made. Especially if nobody knows but us. But the question is, are we really growing pretending to ourselves? Or overlooking pieces of ourself that helped us grow?

Let’s own our mistakes. Instead of allowing them to own us! No matter how deep they may be. Think about why it’s a mistake. What could have been done differently? Let it change you. Let it criticize you. Let it make you feel uncomfortable. Most importantly let it teach you. Carry that lesson through the next stage of your life.

If we don’t own our mistakes. We will keep repeating them. We will never learn. If we keep looking at mistakes as a piece of ourself to overlook, we will keep missing the opportunity to grow. And growth ladies, is the only way we can become our full selves.

THERE SHE GO!

The Power of Networking!

Meeting new people can be difficult because our generation has become accustomed to hiding behind social media. So holding actual conversations outside of our comfort zone seems more of a task than a reward.

Some of us may have gotten comfortable with our own views and our own opinions that we have shut out anything that makes us see beyond that.

For a lot of us we are deep. So we begin to restrict our networking capabilities in fear of lack of trust for others. We don’t want to let anyone in that close, but with networking we have to learn to set boundaries.

Holding new conversations are hard. Call me crazy but I practice in the mirror all the time. It’s more than about our words, it’s about our body language as well. When we are talking about the value of our business we want to have our shoulders back sitting or standing straight. This exudes confidence in our business and ourselves. We also want to be sure we never say “i don’t know.” We can always say “Ill get back to you on that” or “let me get your contact info to get back to you.” Don’t let your shyness hinder your business. And always remember, get personal on your time, until then keep it business.

Networking is about accepting that everyone may see and view things differently than we do. Being a finance guru, I have attended events and heard some opinions that are not necessarily my approach. Does it mean that I’m right and they are wrong? NO! It just means we have different ways to reach the same solution. There may be someone you meet doing the same exact business as you. Is that your competition or your craft sister? Someone you can bounce ideas off of and get advice when needed? Fearing competition will hinder our networking abilities. We have to be confident that what we bring to our table is ENOUGH and respect what other QUEENS are bringing to their table!

Some of us literally have been hurt by friends and women so deeply that networking and talking to other women may feel like an invitation for more of that. This is where boundaries must be set! Networking doesn’t mean we are out here looking for a best friend (although you could very well find one). It means we are promoting our business and being a great support system for another woman to promote hers. Everything doesn’t have to be so deep!

There is so much power behind women coming together. There is so much power behind respecting each other and valuing the uniqueness behind what everyone is bringing to their table. Some of us are loud, some of us are quiet. We are all different colors, sizes and could all believe total different things. But that’s our power!

I read a quote the other day about networking:

“ITS NOT ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW, ITS ABOUT WHO KNOWS YOU!”

Let’s step up our networking ladies!

THERE SHE GO!

“Post It” Affirmations

Sometimes we can look in the mirror and train our minds to think a certain way, but for a lot of us who suffer trauma deeply; thinking just isn’t enough. Ever since I watched Being Mary Jane, my life changed surrounding affirmations.

Writing goals out, positive statements, and physically seeing them and reading them daily creates a change in our mindset. It creates a new sense of self love.

We have gotten accustomed to not feeling beautiful unless someone deems us so. We have become accustomed to not feeling adequate unless the world tells us we are. Because of this need for gratification, our love for self suffers.

Mary Jane wrote affirmations, quotes and goals on post it notes and hung them all around her house. So no matter where she went, she had them to remind her of her value. This is a game changer!

Imagine living a life where others opinions don’t affect you. Ultimately how people feel about us is none of our business. It’s no shame in finding value in the opinions of others, but we can’t let those opinions define who we are.

If you are feeling less than yourself lately or you have a hard time seeing the positive in yourself or your life, try post it notes. Put them wherever you are comfortable. Bathroom. Bedroom. Laundry room. Kitchen.

Write down how you should see yourself. “I am beautiful.” “I’m a good mother.” “I will say no when I need to and not feel bad about it” Those are just a few examples of the endless things you could write.

Remember your worth. And if you have forgotten the definition of yourself, it’s okay to start today in redefining. Your opinion of yourself is the most important for your life, mental health and moving forward.

THERE SHE GO!

Be Proud of How Far You Have Come!

Often times we become so wrapped up in who we used to be and growing from that, that we forget to stop and look how far we have come.

That thing that used to trigger us, doesn’t trigger us anymore and if it does, we know how to handle it. Those feelings of insufficiency and those insecurities that once held us back from being free, no longer live within us.

Those goals that we set, no matter how long it took, we got them done. We put in the work. We sacrificed. We deserve to feel accomplished.

Remember those hard times we thought we couldn’t get through? We got through them! Look at us now, stronger than ever!

It’s not always about the press forward. Sometimes it’s about the pause. Being 10 toes down with no thought to movement. Appreciating where we came from and recognizing where we are at. No pressure. Just being.

We need these moments for our sanity, for our confidence and to get a clear vision of what’s next. Constant movement distracts us from the little things of the now. Constant movement makes us feel like we aren’t doing enough. When we have done so much for our growth already.

Be proud of how far you have come and love where you are at. In that you will find where you are going.

THERE SHE GO!

Never losing YOU in a Relationship!

Relationships are hard work aren’t they? Sometimes it may seem that we focus so much on making the other person happy, that we lose ourself in that. Suddenly, the things we liked to do, we don’t do anymore, the people who made us laugh and happy, we see less and less. Instead of taking free time as an opportunity for growth, we take it as a moment to not miss a thing going on with the other person.

In this world of social media we become obsessed with who liked their photos, who commented. Whose photos they liked, who they are commenting on. We overthink. We read too much into things. And most of the time we begin looking so deep, we miss the obvious things right in front of us.

We lose ourselves. We forget the confidence we had before we met them. The confidence that attracted them to us. We weren’t worried about a like, a comment. We laughed and had fun. We were focused on our goals and pressing forward.

We lose ourselves. We forget about all the things that made us happy, too worried about making our person happy. That becomes harder to do when we aren’t happy within ourselves. Before we know it, we wake up and don’t even recognize ourself in the mirror.

Balance is so important in a relationship. In order to keep balance we must have trust. We can’t be with anyone who makes us second guess our goals or our happiness in general.

The most important part of any relationship is making sure that both people are able to be them. When we are able to be ourselves it allows us room to grow together. We can’t continue to pour into someone else’s happiness without it being reciprocated. We can’t forget our goals. We can’t forget our happiness or what it feels like to laugh with people we love.

Every relationship comes with sacrifice and compromise. But neither one should be YOU! Set your tone and be in a relationship that complements that. Anyone who takes YOU away from YOU is not meant for YOU!

THERE SHE GO!

Imperfection is the REAL Beauty!

In this society today, it’s easy to want to be like someone else whether it’s the attention they may get, the likes, the comments or the fact that we are in awe of their beauty. The hard part these days is standing strong in who we are because there is always someone trying to tell us how to be, how to look, how to live. As if we all aren’t imperfect.

We are all imperfect in one way or another. Some of us see our imperfections before we see our beauty and that we have to change. We can never be fully secure in who we are unless we accept our imperfections and change them or choose to see the beauty in the ones we can’t.

Let me just say we were not created to be identical. Each of us possess something unique, we create our own magic. Whether it’s our physical attributes or our personality or our thought process; we all give something different to the world. Putting all those differences together is like completing the puzzle. That’s how we become successful together as women.

So what if my body isn’t perfect. So what that I may not always be dressed to the 9. So what that I may not always know the right thing to say. I’m still me. I’m secure in that my intentions are pure, I’m comfortable in my own skin without the extra and I’m honest. That’s my beauty. We should all see ourselves as such.

When I was on my journey of loving me, all of me. I made notes to myself. I talked to myself. I wrote in a journal. I began to realize that everything that made me less perfect, made me beautiful. My scars that showed what I’ve overcome. My body which shows my joy of motherhood. My vibrant personality that’s never been too much for the people who love me. Thats my beauty.

What are some imperfections that you see when you look at yourself? Are they blinding you from your beauty or do they make you embrace your beauty? How do you love your imperfections? What do you do everyday to recognize your beauty and love on you? Make some notes. Write some positive affirmations. Start your journey. Who has time to be perfect? The only time we have is to be who we are and love it.

THERE SHE GO!

Im Worth Letting Go of My Pain!

There have been people who have wronged us and hurt us in unimaginable ways. The type of hurt that changes us. We all can remember a time when we were softer and not so guarded.

It isn’t until we reach the other side of that hurt that we begin to look at what it taught us. In fear of being hurt again we shut down. We don’t let anyone close to us, because we are scared that if we open that door that we will come face to face with the person that hurt us.

Holding on to that hurt hinders us from our growth. Naturally, it takes time to get over any type of hurt placed on us by other people. It’s hard to forgive because we forget that forgiveness is for us, not for them. We have to remember that we are worth letting that pain go.

When people hurt us, they know, whether they care to admit that or not. That is something they have to carry, not us. Let’s stop carrying around unnecessary baggage.

Although we will never be the same person after hurt, we can be better. We can wake up every day and give ourselves the opportunity to be happy. As women, we see and feel everything deeply. To be honest, every interaction isn’t meant to be felt within that context. As hard as they may be for us.

For example, a man complimenting us may just be the reminder we need that we still got it; not an invitation to another heartbreak. Someone getting to know us may grow into a deep friendship rather than a marriage.

When we carry around hurt, we carry around the pretense that everyone is full of shit. Rather than enjoying new interactions. Let’s stop letting hurt get in the way of what we are worth. We are worth happiness. We are worth love. We deserve new interactions, no matter how small they may be.

Let’s embrace the new us after the pain. Keep the lessons the pain taught us close and LIVE OUR LIFE QUEENS! You are worth letting go of your pain!

THERE SHE GO!