Author: TSG!

On Wednesday’s we highlightHER👑

This week we are honoring mother, wife and my sister La Shonda Brown. She has always been an inspiration to me as my big sister. She is a woman of God, but will quickly remind you, that’s not to be confused with perfection. She is an amazing wife and mother who leads her family in spirit and grace. She’s an encourager who continues to grow daily! She reaches out! She always makes sure everyone is doing well, prays for all of us, asks us how we are doing and sends inspirational messages! She is an example of what TSG! stands for. Shonda talks about life as a wife, mother, Christian, health advocate and how she makes everyday work for her. She hopes this will remind other women, in their daily challenges they are not alone! THERE SHE GO!

Interview:

Who is La Shonda Brown?

“I am a 39 year old ball of energy with a classy attitude that is tamed by a 42 year old husband and 2 teenage daughters (14 & 12).  I love experiencing new adventures, event planning and watching my family grow; grow in age, grow in love, and grow in God.  My favorite and the most challenging task that I have been assigned to are being a mother and wife.  I enjoy being that “person” that is able to solve the complicated homework equation, inspire and uplift the tired husband, wipe the unseen tear, and ease the worried and scared mind.  These things contribute to the imperfect, “beautifully scarred” woman that I am proud to look at each day.”

As a mother of 2 teenage girls, what does woman empowerment mean to you? 

“Teenagers have a reputation of being classified as “handfuls”.  Well, I have 2 handfuls that need guidance, unconditional love, encouragement, discipline and deal with mental challenges often.  They are faced with so many challenges of society, that their mental and physical structure must be strong enough to deal with real life issues.   My main job is to love and provide for them, but my personal job is to demonstrate values, strength, integrity, humbleness and determination so that they understand what it is to be a strong woman.  I lead by example, so that when my footsteps become too small to follow, they are able to walk alone and pass on what I have given them.”

What are some of your daily challenges as a mother and wife and how do you overcome them?

“My biggest challenge is “time”.  As time does not repeat or stop for anyone, being conscientious of my time and making sure that I am utilizing every moment is important.  I plan my days, nights, and weeks with calendars, reminders and alarms, but as each night completes itself, I still feel incomplete. Incomplete in feeling that I could have done more, or completed more. I struggle with this constantly and have yet to find the perfect medium, but meanwhile everything works itself out.”

You have been living a healthy lifestyle for over a year now.   What encouragement do you have for women when it comes to getting healthy?  

“Healthy is not always WEIGHT LOSS.  It can be “weight gain” at times when your fat turns to muscle, and it can be nothing when you are just maintaining.  I was able to realize the fact that I was unhealthy.  The things that I was eating reflected in my body.  I ate whenever I felt like it, with no restrictions.  It became difficult for me to get out of bed, stay awake, and deal with life. I watched my husband lose weight within an hour (as it felt), but he was dedicated and worked hard.  I was in denial in thinking that I was fine but deep down in my heart, I knew I had to change because I was miserable. Every woman has their moment of reality when you are FED UP.  When you become FED UP, change needs to occur or else you will keep letting DENIAL rule your life.  SO GET FED UP, so you can allow your transformation to begin. Your body talks, make sure you listen.”

How long have you been married and what does a healthy marriage mean to you?

“I have been married 15 years as of May 8, 2019 to wonderful man that has provided for our family in such an amazing way.  A healthy marriage is a combination of love, caring, communication, trust and compromise as statistics, magazines and books quote.  My healthy marriage entails of arguments, disagreements, happiness, craziness, tears, laughter, late nights, fun, impromptu outings, date nights, togetherness, hugs, cuddles, kisses, surprises, and prayer.  Although, these things are forms of communication, it’s the “realness” of life.  It’s another job that you punch in on the timeclock, but you never punch out.  A healthy marriage is not built on possessions and emotions, its built on a “FOUNDATION” that has been created through GOD. Your foundation is what keeps your house standing and God is what keeps it clean and maintained.

How do you balance being a mom and wife and who you need to be yourself?

“Knowing yourself has got to be the first thing that you establish when trying to balance anything. When you can’t define YOU, pretending occurs and that overwhelming feeling sits in your mind because you have no idea what to do or how to react when you are positioned in difficult circumstances.   I clearly know ME. I have flaws, flipped edges, attitude, sass, style…etc.  I know what makes me upset and I know what makes me happy.  As I am growing, I’ve learned that my help comes from the LORD.  I can’t predict tomorrow, I can’t go back to yesterday, I have to stand in the present and allow God to use me in whatever way I need to be used.  I allow each day to speak for itself.”

What does FAITH mean to you?

“Faith is something that every person who believes in Jesus Christ is instilled with.  It requires ACTIVATION before it can work.  Once its ACTIVATED, then YOU have to work..you have to pray… you have to work and you have to pray.  FAITH without work is DEAD!!! Activating your faith puts it in ACTION, BELIEVING in your faith puts it in REALITY.”

What or who has inspired you the most in your life and why?

“My parents:  As a child, I was mostly with my mom because my dad was over the road truck driver.  I watched them go through and overcome so many hard and difficult times.  As time passed, I also watched transformation in both of them that allowed me to know that anything is possible.  Their inspiration helps remind me that TROUBLE don’t last always and on my worst day, I know that GOD is real.  

My grandmother:   Oh, how there is nothing like a grandmother’s love.  She has 94 years of wisdom that she is able to speak to me, no matter the hour or day…I WILL LISTEN.. She commands my attention effortlessly and her inspiration is unique, but true. She has a strong and determined mind that requires no second guess when she speaks.  

My Husband:  He was set aside, just for me.  His kindness and sweet spirit motivates me as he can handle difficult issues with ease. His willingness to help anyone in need for a minute or 2 hours at any given time makes him distinguished.  His dedicated attitude allows him to excel gracefully.   His caring spirit always can find the best out of any BAD SITUATION. Although, I know I am a HANDFUL, I know he was handpicked by God to create a better me.

My daughters:  As I am traveling this journey of life with them, they keep me grounded.  They inspire to be MORE. More than what I was yesterday, better than I am today.  They keep my head on straight and they challenge my inner spirit.  Without them, I would never know if I have accomplished anything right in my life.  When I look at them, watch them pray, encourage their friends, encourage themselves, I challenge myself to be more as I am their example.”

If you could leave women with one quote on encouragement, what would it be?

“A GLOWING woman can help other women GLOW and still be LIT!!!”

Friendships amongst us women can get catty can’t they? On again, off again, telling each other’s business, jealousy or just tearing each other down; we have made a generation where it’s just hard to trust another woman. We also forget that we are allowed to set boundaries. Every person we talk to doesn’t have to be considered a friend. Choosing our friendship circle has a lot to do with knowing and being confident in who we are, because we are then sure in who we need and want to be around.

What is friendship? Friendship is defined as mutual trust and support between two allies. When I think of the word trust, I think deep. Trust for me is just like love, I carry it deep and it is not easily accessed. Trusting someone is knowing we can rely on them, we can depend on them and when we are not in their presence, they still show us loyalty. That’s a huge expectation.

When I think of support. I think of the people who go out of their way to show us we are loved. The people who ask how we are doing, who respect our boundaries and who root for us every step of our journey. Those people are huge and their support pushes us to be even better.

Note the definition reads trust AND support not OR. There will be people you trust with certain things, that doesn’t make them a friend. There will be people who you don’t even know that will support you, that doesn’t make them a friend. Friendship is deeper than that! Trust and support are powerful together and remind us we are never alone. That’s the true gem of real friendship.

Looking at the true definition of friendship, I have to ask how many true friends do you have? Are you, yourself a true friend? True friendships will not hinder your growth, they will encourage it. Friendship is knowing we can grow individually and still trust and support those closest to us!

This week I challenge you to be a better friend and surround yourself with the right people. Stop giving everyone the powerful title of FRIEND. Be picky! Stop expecting the profoundness of trust and support from everyone. Let it build organically. Cherish the sacredness of the friendships you already have. Remembering you are never alone with them. I’ll leave you with this quote to think about “The most beautiful discovery true friends can make is they can grow separately without growing apart.” -Elisabeth Foley THERE SHE GO!

On Wednesday’s we highlightHER👑

This week we are showing appreciation to Dawn Timmons. I’ve known Dawn for about a decade now and her spirit has always stood out to me. She’s so kind and so graceful without expecting anything in return! She’s just the type of person who sees the good in everyone. Imagine having that type of vision. Dawn is an avid reader of TSG! and has openly shared some of her struggles in hopes that another woman will read this and say I CAN GET THROUGH THIS, I CAN DO THIS! Dawn taught me that you can never judge a book by its cover, that no matter how things may seem on the outside, we are all deep down still women, who all deal with our own struggles. “To other women, I have always said never put other women down, regardless of the situation” THERE SHE GO!

Read our interview below:

Tell us where you are from and a little about your upbringing.

“My name is Dawn Timmons. I was born in Lewes, DE and grew up most of my life in Millsboro, DE. I lived with my grandparents up until I was 7 years old when my grandmother passed away. Then I went and lived with my mom. When I was 21 years old, I got married to my sons dad, at the time my son was only a year old.”

If you could use one word to describe yourself, what would it be and why?

 “I’m helpful, I’m passionate! I love helping others. I would give someone my last, if they needed it! I love seeing the look on people’s faces and the feeling I feel when I help others because I know how it is not to have someone there when you need them”

What type of career are you in and what is your short term goal for growth?

“I am currently working with disabled individuals, which I love to do. My short term goal is to go back to school for nursing. Which goes into my love for helping others. I’ve always had a passionate for helping those who can’t help themselves. I’ve built great relationships and they help me just as much, if not more than I help them”

Being a mom, what advice do you give your son on how important it is to set personal goals?

“As a mother of a 18 year old. I always told my son to do his best in anything he wanted to do and to never let anyone or anything bring him down.”

I’ve known you for some time and I have watched you pick yourself up from rock bottom, how did you get the strength to do that?

“At rock bottom, I thought I would never be able to get myself on the right track. BUT I DID! I was a heroin addict for 3 years. My family disowned me, I lost my job, my car, my place to live. Everything went downhill. I went to Rehabs three different times, the 3rd time, I knew I had to listen to what they kept telling me to do, instead of what the addiction was telling me to do. Now I have been clean for 3 years. It hasn’t been easy, I have struggled, but I knew that I didn’t want to live the street life anymore. I did have to separate myself from some friends and even some family. It was an overall sacrifice in many ways, but today I’m grateful to be doing much better.”

You have been nominated by women who thought you would be a great inspiration for women who are finding it hard to overcome the struggle. What advice do you have for women on pushing through?

“To other women, I have always said never put other women down, regardless of the situation. Set goals for yourself and start off with small goals to complete. And never ever ever give up on yourself, no matter how hard it may be! You can get through anything that you put your mind and heart to”

What has been your biggest motivator in life?

“My biggest motivator in my life has been myself. I try every day to get up and push myself to be a better person than I was yesterday. I overcame a lot by myself and I found myself through my struggles.”

As one of my top viewers, What does There She Go mean to you?

“There She Go means a lot to me. One way or another the blogs, the stories, they help me! I look forward to reading them every week and learning new ways to be better. I’m honored to be apart of it”

“Empowered women empower women!” I love the power behind that quote. That is what this blog is all about! But what does it truly mean to empower?

To Empower means to give someone more confidence, to make them stronger in some way! I think of how simple that is. Compliments go a long way with us women, but sometimes we tend to look at each other in judgement rather than admiration. When the truth is we are all flawed in one way or another.

We never know what another woman is going through. A simple compliment, encouraging word, could mean the world to someone. I think back to why I made this blog! Me and my group of friends, when we would see each other looking good, accomplishing a goal, we would say “There She Go!” That energy creates happiness and confidence. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you about a woman who is confident and happy; her potential is endless.

Think of how hard we are on ourselves. How much we work on ourselves and push through hard times. There are other women who feel the same way you do, and could use uplifting. Some of us feel like we have to be Doctors, Educators or some type of millionaire to empower. When the truth is we all have a story, we all have experiences that shaped us. We can empower by being encouraging, by being kind, by being a testimony of our own lives.

This week I challenge you to be a pick me up for other women. If you see something about another woman you admire, tell them. You could make someone’s day by just being you and that’s powerful. THERE SHE GO!

On Wednesday’s we highlightHER 👑

This week we are highlighting the lovely, Angie Bivens. I do not know Angie personally, but she has been nominated by multiple women for her positive, contagious attitude and her work in the community. She gives encouragement about uniqueness and unity amongst woman. “I try to encourage other women because I believe we are all indirectly a reflection of each other. Therefore, the advancement or growth of one woman can impact many more women.” THERE SHE GO!

Read more from our interview below:

1.   Tell us where you are from and a little about what makes you Angie?

“ I was born in Baltimore and raised on the Eastern Shore after my parents’ divorce. I embrace that I am a unique person. Every life experience and decision has made me who I am. I also realized last year that I am still growing and maturing. The “Angie” you speak to now has a refreshed view on life that “Angie” 5 years ago didn’t because I am learning something new everyday. My roles include daughter, mom, wife, hard-worker and thermostat (I can change an environment).”

2.   If you could use one word to describe yourself what would it be and why?

“The main word people use to describe me is “animated”. I always seem to put on a show even when I don’t mean to. My fun and upbeat nature is my favorite quality about myself and plays a huge role in my sanity.”

3.   What’s your passion in life?

“My passion is to leave a mark on this world. I do that by helping people. I volunteer with teen girls in my spare time and assist income eligible families through my employment. Even when I want to do for myself, I feel a drive to help others the way others helped me in my times of need.”

4.   Women have nominated you because you are encouraging and always out there willing to help someone else! Where do you get the inspiration to give so much of yourself to others?

“I have experienced caring for a severely ill infant, domestic abuse (verbal & physical), homelessness, depression, attempted suicide, and the loss of a parent. While anyone of these traumas would discourage a person, each event became a driving force for me. Despite having a small circle of family and friends, these were the loneliest times of my life and it taught me to encourage myself and push till I see change. That mindset was so powerful I constantly try to share it with others. I believe someone inspired me so I am MANDATED to inspire others.”

5.   How do you keep from stretching yourself thin, do you ever say no?

“This is probably one of my weaknesses. My children have even commented on how my drive to do more has driven me ill before. That was an eye opener that I must take care of me to best help others. Once a week I separate Me-Time. It could be as minor as a trip to the store (love retail therapy) or a full body massage. During this time my phone is off and I do my best to only think of myself. This also means there are times when I have to schedule this time and say no to other people or events. I usually weigh out the events or tasks I take on to determine if it will yield better results than what I will need to give out (ie time, money or travel). I also review the motives of the event host and myself if I accept. Most importantly when I say no, I mean no.”

6.   In this world of social media, comparison and competition is at an all time high among us women. How do you stand firm in your encouragement?

“Women should often be reminded that we are ALL gifted with strengths and power. It comes at different levels and times in life but no matter how or when a woman begins to exhibit strength, this should be supported by all women. As a woman, we are all part of a unique club with similar struggles and victories that men can’t understand fully. We should be cheerleaders for one another to better us. Unfortunately, the media promotes women to keep a crab-like mentality for their own financial benefit. I try to encourage other women because I believe we are all indirectly a reflection of each other. Therefore, the advancement or growth of one woman can impact many more women.”

7.   How do you push through tough days, tough moments? How do you find the positivity in it?

“When I have tough days/moments, I take it moment by moment and remember to breathe. No matter how bad a situation may seem I remind myself that it will change and I am the only one that can change it. I am also very realistic with myself, meaning I am honest with myself and try to make all my goals realistic because small goals push you towards big goals and big goals change your situation.”

8.   TSG! is about women coming together. Loving our individuality together. What advice do you have for women in being their authentic selves?

“I feel like each woman is not different, they are unique. Unique means “being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else”. While each woman is still a woman (same kind), every woman’s personality is unique (unlike anything else) and brings a new perspective. Each woman faces similar struggles and pains but each woman has a unique way of handling it. Meaning we should not try to be copy cats but uplift our uniqueness. I remind myself, God made me this way for a reason. Some will like it and some will not but if I am happy and I can make God smile, that is what matters.”

9.   What has inspired you the most in your life?

“My greatest inspiration are my children. I was tasked to be their mother and female guide in life. By inspiring and pushing them to be great it has made me step up. I like the phrase that “they do as I do, not as a I say” so I have to show them who they can be through my life. I’m very honest with my daughters. If I fall I explain why and if I succeeed I explain how. They are a better reflection than a mirror and if I can inspire them, I feel like I can inspire anyone. I am a mother of 4 beautiful daughters, ages 6, 12, 16, and 20. At the tender age of 35, I truly feel like I have lived in fast forward since high school but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

10.   It can be difficult to keep strong faith through the ups and downs. What encouragement can you give to other women?

“My faith is my foundation. Its always available and it is the one thing in my life that has never changed. I can’t explain my faith other than to say it is my relationship with God. Relationships are as different as people so I don’t let others judge my faith. I believe God is available to everyone (especially me) and His love provides a security that no person can give me. My encouragement for other women is to seek God for yourself and hold your faith no matter what. Many religions involve practices that will hinder or shy people away from God because of their “imperfections” but I know God works with the most imperfect to perfect them. We just have to have some measure of faith and God will work on the rest.”

-Angie

We as women love to get the last word don’t we, especially when we are right! I know I do! The argument doesn’t end until I say so lol! The problem is we have become so offended by everything, so getting the last word turns into constant lashing out. Especially between us women! Reacting to every little thing disturbs our inner peace! The desire to prove we are right, to prove we are good, to prove that we are who we say we are; overrides everything that we say we have become, that we have worked hard to be.

Insecurities show when we have to react to everything. When we are secure in who we are, no one can tell us who we are, how we should act, or what we should believe in. When we are secure, we respect the opinions and values of others, even if we don’t agree with them. If others opinions get disrespectful block them on social media and in real life.

Let me just say if it’s people in your circle you have to constantly refrain from responding to, Id ask you to have real private conversations and re-evaluate your circle. We shouldn’t allow anyone that close to us that disturbs our energy.

We must choose to focus on being informative, being true, standing on who we are and what we believe without being bothered how the next woman does the same. This week I challenge you to choose peace. Choose growth. Quit lashing out, instead find a way to be informative in the things that mean the most to you. Quit being easily offended, instead respect the differences in opinions. Quit being walked over, instead have real conversations with the people close to you. Quit allowing the disturbance, instead block anyone who disrespects who you are!

At the end of the day, we fight enough battles daily without allowing “getting out of character” to be one of them. Be Real. Be You. Continue Growing. Don’t go backwards for anyone! THERE SHE GO!

On Wednesdays we HighlightHER! 👑

This week are highlighting the talented Ciara Smack. Ciara is a 29 year old woman from Seaford, currently growing in her craft and in the self-discovery process, as we all are. I’ve known Ciara for many years, we went to the same high school. She’s always been a hustler and takes pride in her work. A lot of you may know Ciara because of her braids or modeling, but through our interview I learned, Ciara is a very Passionate and Determined young woman. One thing Ciara continued to say was “I never stop learning” I hope we all take a piece of that with us. THERE SHE GO!

INTERVIEW:

People see Ciara Marie as the “Braid Queen” what’s behind that?

“Something a lot of people don’t know or understand about me, is that I’m a very passionate person. I’m passionate about everything and sometimes that is my greatest downfall. I’m not just passionate about my craft, I’m passionate about my family, my friends, other people’s feelings and I always want to help someone. It has been a hard cycle to break, not allowing others to take advantage of my passionate personality. I’m 100% in everything that I do, in everything that I give; whether it was modeling, doing hair or just simply giving someone a ride. Sometimes that passion also brings attitude, which I’m working on. At the end of the day I’m a passionate work in progress.”

When did you first start braiding hair and what made you specialize in doing children’s hair?

“I started braiding hair at the age of 14. I used to braid a friend of mine’s, little sisters hair in high school. When it comes to me doing children’s hair, to the parents, they may see somebody who’s giving them a break from having to keep up with their kids hair, which I completely understand. For me, as a black woman, once being a little black girl, I know how parents can be quick to put chemicals and relaxers in kids hair, which strips the natural chemicals. I want to change the stigma around that. Your child doesn’t have to be 6 or 7 years old wearing weaves or getting relaxers; with the right hair care, which I give and teach the parents, your child’s hair can flourish on its own. I also have clients who are single dads and have no clue what to do with their daughter’s hair. It makes me feel good to see the confidence of kids change when I get done with their hair. The relationships that I build with my child clients mean a lot to me. I can remember one time I had 3 sisters hair to do and they would cry, but I kept coming back, building that relationship and now only the youngest cries just a little bit. I’ve also been promoted to Aunt Ciara by a few. “

I see you have recently expanded your business back to doing adult’s hair, what inspired you to expand?

“To be honest, I expanded because they asked. I was reluctant at first because I’ve built such a great bond with my children clients. I have kids that expect me to do their hair on a set schedule and I didn’t want doing adults hair getting in the way of that. Also, I felt that it’s plenty of salons that braid adult hair and not many that are willing to have the patience to deal with kids. I want to expand my craft though and continue to learn, so I’m practicing time management to be able to do some adult hair too.”

For the people who don’t know, you have your own YouTube channel, where you deliver videos on not just styles, but hair care as well. What inspired you to get more interactive and how did you become so knowledgeable of the products that you share?

“I’m knowledgeable on the hair care products, because I use them myself. Also, from a previous highlightHER feature, Brittany Matamoros. I decided to take it all to YouTube because I want my knowledge and craft to reach more than just people in Delaware and Maryland. I want to grow beyond that. I’m truly passionate about hair care and the styles I provide and I want to share them with the world. I also feel all women have questions about hair care, so I put it out there as a resource to expand. I hope to grow my brand all over the country and have been working on ways to do pop-up shops and many other things. People ask me all the time to teach them how to braid. What is unique about me, is that I braid with my left hand, but with my right thumb, so it’s hard to teach and even harder for others to understand, but I’m working on it!”

Beings as through, your craft is centered around children, what’s your opinion on representation?

“The way I represent myself around children is for them to be able to trust me. I learn each child differently. Some use our time to just chill, watch TV, some use our time to tell me everything that’s going on at school. I respect whatever boundaries they set, which allows them to trust me. When the kids trust me and like their hairstyle, it makes the parents trust me. To me, doing hair is a representation of bonding time. I tell parents all the time, use that time to get to know your child’s hair and to talk to them. I cherish that time and I don’t take it lightly.”

Many people may not know that you are an aspiring model as well. What inspired you to model and can we expect anything new from that side of your creativity?

“What inspired me to model initially was my grandmother, she always told me I was real photogenic. Aside from my grandmother, I had a really bad relationship when I was 18 and it brought my self- esteem down. When I saw my first modeling shots, I saw my pose, how I looked and I was proud of me. I felt better about myself. It’s a shame that we have to go through these things as women to see our real beauty, but I did and it made me have a passion for seeing myself in that light. I plan to do more photography in the future with my photographer. She’s who I feel comfortable with and who knows me the best.”

What has been your biggest obstacle when it comes to pursuing your business and making a name for yourself?

“My biggest obstacle has been patience. More or less patience with kids, their parents, the criticism. Doing a child’s hair for the first time can be difficult, and I also want to earn the parent’s trust, so I have to be patient with the child and myself, as well as understanding. I’ve heard people criticize my prices, which also takes patience because I want to build my business, but I’m also not going to sell myself short. I don’t think everyone understands the products, time and work that goes into doing each person’s hair, not only that, I go to my customers. So Patience with myself as well as with others is still hard for me and something I’m working on.”

How do you balance working and maintaining a fully booked schedule?

“Dunkin Donuts (lol). I work overnight, so the only thing I’m really missing most days is sleep. I get off in the morning and I go straight to doing hair, especially on the weekends during school time. Right now the only thing I’m focusing on is being stable. I take my days, where I cut everything off and have time to myself. Those days are important to me.”

What advice do you have for young women on authenticity, and individuality; meaning the mindset “everybody does hair” or “everybody models”?

“At the end of the day, you are your own person. If you feel like you are good at something or passionate about something, go for it. There’s always going to be people that try to make you think twice about your dreams. Ignore those people. Don’t let the negativity of everyone else get to you. It’s important to surround yourself around the right people. My circle is very small, because I had to realize who was really there for me and had my best interest at heart. If you have a dream be like NIKE and just do it, surround yourself with the right people and BE YOURSELF. Your work will always speak for itself.”

What do you have to say to all women about pursing their dreams and handling challenges?

“Don’t be afraid and don’t be discouraged. If you make an attempt to do something and it doesn’t work out, go for it again. Life is a learning process and we are our own best teachers. Just like me, there’s a lot I still don’t know about braiding and I’m always learning new braids and perfecting old ones. Also, something I’m learning is to invest in yourself. Promoting your business, your work and invest in it. Be your own biggest supporter and never stop learning.”

-Ciara