We’ve been hearing this since we were kids. “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?” “Keep your eyes on your own paper.” “You are too busy worried about what every one else is doing, when you need to be focused on yourself.”
I know these are words I clearly remember my mother saying to me at different points of life. Words that in those moments I took for granted. Not understanding or even knowing that those words were the foundation of how I should live my own UNIQUE life. It was instilled in me from the beginning to be my own person. When the world told me I had to be like everyone else to be recognized, or do what everyone else is doing, or wear what everyone else is wearing; my mother’s words played in my head. Did I always listen? NO! lol But on our journey of growth its important to remember our CORE.
We are all at different places in life. We all have different wants. We all have different needs. Like we have talked about in the blogs before, what it takes for each of us to grow will be different. Some of our career goals may to be entrepreneurs and change the world, some of our goals may be to excel in the career we are in, some of us may be going back to school to succeed in our true passions. Some of our family goals maybe a picket fence, some may be trying to have or adopt a child, some may not want any children at all. Once again, it doesn’t make one person’s decision better than yours or vice versa. We all know women who have been awesome mothers and awesome career women both separately and simultaneously.
The barrier is due to social media and these unrealistic expectations, we begin focusing on what the next woman is doing. We don’t even notice the weeds growing in our own yards, because we are too busy focused on the next woman’s yard. Why have her flowers grown so beautiful? What’s her secret? Why is she always happy? She must be fake, because nobody is ever that happy. If we are being truly honest, we all have said some of these things before or they have been said about us.
The truth is we are all blessed with our secrets. Look at these professional designers for example, they all can make a purse, but each one offers its own style. It’s no difference with us women, whether we are doing the same things, or doing things completely opposite of one another we all have our own secret that we possess to make it ours. We will never find that secret, or that success if we aren’t focused on our own growth.
So instead of wondering how the next woman is growing, focus on the seeds we need to plant to grow. We will miss days of watering them, nourishing them, talking to them, praying for them, manifesting them, if our focus is on someone else’s yard. The seeds will dry up, burn up, and eventually not grow at all. Why? We aren’t focusing on our own growth.
No matter where we are on our journey of growth, I think the most important aspect of focusing is knowing to not worry about outside forces. There are a million things out of our control, and if we spend our time worrying about them, we will forever be limiting our growth. We focus on what we can control, like the seeds we plant. Are the seeds we are planting aligning with who we are and who we are meant to be? We can control how much effort, how much work we put in, how much we pray, how we think. And when we put it in that perspective, how the hell do we even have time to focus on anyone else.
What is something along your journey of growth that you would like to focus more on? What are some seeds that you want to plant and nourish to be a better version of you? What are some things that keep you unfocused? What are you going to do to change them? Be true to your vision, your focus and your dreams. They are yours, they aren’t supposed to look like anyone else’s.
THERE SHE GO!