HighlightHER™️

On Wednesday’s we HighlightHER 👑

This week we are showing love and appreciation to Samantha Allen. I don’t know Samantha personally, but we have been social media friends for some years now! We connected by simply just showing love! Over the years, I have watched her be a single mom and accomplish so much. Every obstacle, she overcame and is a great example to all of us, to never give up. As she said, “it does not matter how long it takes you to achieve your goal as long as you get there”! She is so transparent, that I have been truly inspired by her Heart and Determination! I thank Samantha for interviewing with us! THERE SHE GO!

 

Interview:

Samantha Allen is a single mom from Millsboro DE. She has one daughter Kelis (9) and is raising her two nephews Jacob (14) Anthony (13).

What/Who in your life mean the most to you?

“In my life, my kids mean the most to me, along side of my career! Being the only involved parent that any of them have; I play an important role in being present, from homework, to sporting events, to award ceremonies.

What career are you in or working towards?

“I am currently a Registered Nurse enrolled at Wilmington University working towards my DNP in Pediatric Mental Health.

What inspired you to choose Nursing and now Pediatric Mental Health?

“I always knew I wanted to be a DNP! I just leaned towards my passion, which is cardiology. However, once I started dealing with Anthony’s multiple emotional disabilities, multiple stays at psychiatric facilities and seeing the lack of mental health resources for adolescents; I knew I wanted to make a change for the youth.

How do you balance mom life and student life and work life?

“I struggle balancing work life, mom life and student life honestly! It consists of many late nights and early mornings. There are no breaks, but I’m excited to finish. Multitasking seems to be a gift to me because I somehow just get it all done.

What’s the first wake up call you had in chasing your dreams and how did it change you?

“I think that growing up without the permanent presence of my parents was my wake up call. My mother struggles with addiction and my father was never ready to be a single father to a little girl, let alone a teenage girl. I was bounced around a lot with many less-than stable living conditions. I had to mature at an early age. I got my first job at 14 and learned to maintain and survive on my own.  I was irresponsible and got pregnant as a senior in high school. I knew that I did not want my daughter to grow up the way I had and that I had to break the cycle.

What inspired you to keep going during hard times in chasing your dreams?

“I think my inspiration has always come from what I lacked in life. We all have dreams of living in big houses or taking fancy trips; I wanted to succeed far more than I ever wanted to fail. I had a little person who solely depended on my success to fuel her fire, so that one day she would become a successful adult.”

Where did your inspiration come from in getting custody of your nephews?

“My nephews have had a less than fortunate upbringing, they’ve been placed in multiple foster homes, exposed to traumatic experiences and have just lacked stability. They were placed with a foster parent for an extended amount of time. They seemed settled and we had maintained a relationship when their emotional disabilities had gotten in the way of their placement. I unexpectedly received a phone call that changed my life with a decision that had to be decided on almost instantly. I knew I had to save them from the system and try to give them the stability that none of us had growing up.

How has stepping up in their life changed you?

“I think that this experience has changed me because I now know what true love is. My daughter had shown me that, but she was a responsibility that I created on my own and knew I had to protect. When I received the phone call, I knew without a doubt what had to be done, but at the end of the day, it was a choice. These boys have struggled with so much in their mere 13-14 years on this planet. People who were supposed to be there forever had given up on them, made them feel like less than a priority and let their addictions cloud their children’s lives. But when I see them, they look at me every day with pure love in their eyes. It has been the furthest thing from easy but seeing them happy, thriving and healthy has made it all worth it.

What advice do you have for single moms wanting to chase their dreams?

“The advice I have for single moms is to never give up. Strong women always have a way of making a way out of no way. There will always be barriers, it is how you overcome those barriers that define you.

What advice do you have for all women who want to give up?

“My advice for women is follow your dreams, take the job, sign up for the class. Education is something that no one can take from you and it does not matter how long it takes you to achieve your goal as long as you get there!

From the Soul

Change is difficult in any form, but especially internally, what I like to call from the soul out. I believe we all want to be better people in some way, but the work it takes to truly face our weaknesses has to be consistent, which Hell, is HARD!

Some of us may face distractions and disruptions of our peace, and we can either vibrate higher or we can humiliate ourselves on social media, at work, etc. I don’t know about y’all but I’ve humiliated myself a few times in the past over nonsense, at the end of the day.

Some of us may face holding on to anger, which no matter how hard we try, as long as we are holding on, will always defeat true change. We end up taking our anger out on the wrong people, which leads to an unwanted path of destruction.

Some of us may have habits that are hard to get rid of and I’m not talking about just drugs….cursing, sex, to just name a few. That may require us to change our surroundings, just as much as ourselves.

Some of us may have change right in front of us, but the fear of losing our comfortability, fear of the unknown, is holding us back from what we could be.

Some of us don’t even know ourselves, to even know what we need to change. So we start being what we see, being like someone else, everyone else, without ever knowing who we really are.

What change from the soul looks like to all of us, will look different, but we are all similar in the wanting of growth. True growth. Thinking before we speak. Not reacting at all. Learning how to communicate. Letting go. Changing our surroundings. Stop being scared. Get to know ourselves. All of this is so much easier said than done, but that’s why change has to be a true WANT from the soul.

We struggle with change because there’s no one to check us, but us! There’s not a handclap, there’s not a thousand likes or a million views. There’s just you faced with you. What “you”do you want to be faced with?

Finding true peace isn’t being complacent. Peace is knowing yourself, your weaknesses and being at peace with the work you have to put in daily, to show up every day as your best self. Even on bad days, peace is being able to wheel it back in to, “what did this teach me?”

This week I challenge you to write down what change means to you. Things you would like to stop, things you would like to be better at, things you would like to learn more about, something new you would like to try, things that bring you peace. I find writing things down gives me more of a visual, more of a seriousness, more of a meaning.

Give you a secret, my friends are I are huge “Being Mary Jane” fans, we love post it notes. We write daily mantras. Quotes, things as simple as “Be nice today” lol or even deeper “you are not what you been through” or “day 10 of no smoking, you got this,” read them every day. You would be surprised of the effect that it has on your energy and your mood. We have them on our mirrors, walls and doors. As we get through things we change them up!

The thing about change is it’s constant, that’s why it has to be a want from the soul. Constant evolving. Constant learning. The journey of self is never ending. What are some things you would like to change? What are you going to do about it? Remember the only handclap you need is your own. THERE SHE GO!

HighlightHER™️

On Wednesday’s we highlightHER 👑

This week we are highlighting the stunning Glennda Benson. I’ve known Glennda for over a decade. She’s very intelligent and has always been determined to crush any goal she sets for herself. I admire her passion for wanting to know more and wanting to be more. Glennda has overcome every obstacle in her path and is now a businesswoman setting new goals! She is what we call resilient. I thank Glennda for sharing how she found her freedom and the meaning behind her business. THERE SHE GO!

“Hi! I am Glennda, also known as GiGi; 36-year-old mother of two wonderful girls, Kenya (11 years old) and Kennedi (a year old). I currently work full time as an Assistant Branch Manager at M&T Bank and recently graduated with a Master in Business Administration and a concentration in Organizational Leadership. Education has always been important to me and I have always sought it with full force. There were times that I wanted to give up while finishing my MBA but I didn’t! I vividly remember Kenya looking at me one night, after I said I was going to drop out (she was 6 at the time) and she said “how would you like it if I dropped out of school?!” Whelp, that gave me the kick I needed to finish!

I am somewhat of an introvert, not the socially awkward type. However, I do prefer my alone time (more like time where no one is around but my kids and my love). Being that I am somewhat of an introvert, I am honestly shocked that I made the decision to start a blog AND my own company (Nyelle Creations)!

I started MomChronicles.org back in 2018 after giving birth to my last child! I have ALWAYS wanted an outlet and place to speak my mind (MY WAY) as a woman, mother, and wife! What started as a dream and a joke between Kenya, Myself and Jeffrey (my love), very quickly became reality. Kenya is the real MVP as she hyped me up to start the blog and so I did!

In April 2019, I founded my company Nyelle Creations, however it was birthed a long time ago when Kenya was a tiny tot! The name Nyelle originated as a combination of both Kenya and Kennedi’s middle names (Nyra and Noelle). At the age of two Kenya was diagnosed with eczema and I personally did/do not like taking medication of any kind so I couldn’t fathom putting steroids in or on my baby. So I began to do some research and came across a plethora of articles with the same key words, natural, Shea butter, moisturized, etc……so I began (almost 9 years ago now) making my own soap, sugar scrubs, toothpaste, and whipped shea butter! I wanted as close to natural as possible products to use on our skin, without the harsh additives.

Fast forward to 2018 and having my last and final baby, who was also diagnosed with eczema, I said well I already know the cure to fight against it so let me continue the trend. Back In April, I attended a Farmers Market here in Baltimore where I live and I saw so many people that looked like myself (brown women, of all ages) at this market and I said “this could be me, but what could I sell at the market?” I had no clue at that time, so I went home and was sharing with my family yet another idea I had and yet again they supported me. I began to research platforms to sell my products on and began pushing my products on Instagram first and then Etsy! Once word go out, the love began to flow and since then, the support has been phenomenal!

I must say before the support and before actually launching my business, there was plenty of self doubt! I doubted whether I was called to do this? Was this my lane? What if people don’t support? What if they do and I can’t keep up with my orders? Why should they support me? Are my products reasonably priced? What if my products aren’t good enough? Etc.

Yet again I shared all my fears with my two biggest supports Kenya and Jeffrey, who both said what do you have to lose? NOTHING AT ALL! So, FINALLY I hit the launch button on Etsy and never looked back! I must say it has been so FREEING working for myself and doing what I LOVE and what makes me happy all while keeping others moisturized, smooth, and clean! Both my blog and my business offers me a huge sense of FREEDOM, one that I’ve never had before in life. It has become my place of peace and a safe space for me to rest my mind, because it’s what I LOVE!

So if you have a dream or vision, don’t think of it as too big or small, because it is not small at all. Small beginnings lead to great big humble endings. Despise not the small beginnings because you never know who you will inspire, meet, save, or touch. If you have a dream share it with those closest to you as they will be the most honest and supportive. Block out the negativity and press forward! Just do it, as you only get one life to live and love, so live it doing what makes you feel free and happy!

Having my children taught me that I want and need a lifestyle that affords me the freedom to be there for them at any moment. My girls both saved and purposed me. Someday I will look back on this moment and I’ll be so glad I didn’t give up! Be blessed.

Love and Light always wins!!!

DOING LIFE AND THINGS MY WAY!!!!

Visit my Etsy site at Nyellecreations.etsy.com

I am also available for vendor requests! Submit all requests to nyellecreations@gmail.com

-Glennda

Woman vs Woman

At some point, knowingly or unknowingly, we have all hurt another woman over someone we thought was worth it. Hell, myself included! And I think it’s important that we as women come together on this issue. Instead of trying to have an underlying competition over someone who is playing everyone in the situation, including their self. This subject always raises a lot of opinions on both sides but I’m here for the facts and guess what ladies. The truth hurts!

“Oh she dumb!” I think that’s my least favorite description when I hear WOMEN talking about another woman getting cheated on. When ironically, I’ve never met a woman who’s never been cheated on by somebody. Remember that hurt you felt…why would you place or condone that hurt on someone else? Not only that, do you want to spend the rest of your life, being the unknown, forgot about, after the fact…..now that’s dumb! Think about it!

We also have to think about what it is we deserve. On both sides. We all deserve a love that doesn’t have to be questioned. No love is perfect, but it shouldn’t require you to feel insecure. We become insecure about everything and to me, that’s the saddest part, that I have experienced and witnessed. There’s no lower feeling than not feeling good enough. And if you’re in the shadow you will always feel that way. If you’re the woman getting cheated on, you will forever carry that insecurity, even in another relationship. Forever Insecure.

THAT PAIN THO….makes us get out of character. Women fight, lose focus, forget about everything except that other woman. We forget all about the asshole laying next to us, the root of the problem. We go to social media (where some of us have talent and professions) and let people who barely know us see a side of us they should never see. We lose our composure and people begin to lose respect for our talents and professions. Which is what hurts our respect as women. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Our greatest weakness as women is how we treat each other. The Lifelong challenge is if you know somebody has a woman, don’t disrespect yourself or that woman. Simple. We can’t change what has already happened but we can choose to grow moving forward. Instead of hating each other over men, lets get smarter together because of men. Let’s stop judging each other when it comes to matters of the heart and let’s get the hell real with our own shit if necessary. Most importantly put yourself in another woman’s shoes. Decide to create good karma for yourself when it comes to love. You deserve that. Choose to uplift and stand for another woman. Choose to be the change. THERE SHE GO!

HighlightHER™️

On Wednesday’s we highlightHER 👑

This week we are highlighting the beautiful, Kenisha Fletcher. I met Kenisha a few years ago, as we are both in the financial field. She has an aura of positivity that I admire and always has a kind word for anyone that crosses her path. She always stood out to me, with a smile that would brighten anyone’s day. It wasn’t until later, after I met her, that I learned of her having multiple health issues. I used to ask myself, how can someone be so sweet, after going through so much! Kenisha represents the true meaning behind positive energy. I appreciate her telling TSG! how she does it, in hopes that the next woman will know it’s ok to smile through the pain. THERE SHE GO!

“Im a Wife, Mother of 2 boys (14 & 7years old), Full Time Employee; all while being an entrepreneur of my own photography business and online store. Looking at me you may not know that I suffer from 2 Chronic Illnesses, among other health issues, on a daily basis. Dealing with Fibromyalgia, Chrons Disease, High Gluten Sensitivity, Facet Joint Osteoarthritis & Anxiety is definitely a task within itself. Doing all this medication free and only relying on natural alternatives for the last 2yrs.

My family ( husband & sons ) are my backbone in all my endevours to bring positive vibes and positivity around me. I run a chronically ill community of over 20K, to bring awareness to Fibromyalgia and uplift those who feel alone. (IG @fibromyalgiaawareness). Recently I got the Mayor of The City of Salisbury to Proclaim May 12th 2019 “Fibromyalgia Awareness Day”. ( my 1st proclamation ) The City of Fruitland displayed their support on May 12th 2019 for me as well. I was also a Honoree for the Arthritis Foundation Walk at the National Harbor recently, where I was asked to bring my positive vibes.

Now imagine doing all those things and more…dealing with excruciating pain 24/7 from head to toe. With no cure and no medication. How do I do it. I just do.. I put a smile on my face and press on. There is no need to mope in my own sorrows. So fun..it…is.. The pain is gonna be there regardless. Why miss countless memories I will never get back by letting my health control me.

Dealing with invisible illnesses is extremely complicated. Fibromyalgia in itself, is torture. From head to toe it feels like the flu on steroids x 10 all day everyday. Chrons Disease feels like a stomach virus x 10 with a baby alien brewing trying to escape. Fibromyalgia heightens all the Chrons symptoms. Fibromyalgia stems from the Central Nervous System, so my entire body is out of wack.

But nothing will stop me from ever being the best I can be…

Lover of Memories

Pushing With Purpose

Always stay encouraged and remember #PositivityMatters”

Kenisha

Letting Go to Move Forward!

If there was a billboard for “holding on,” my face would be on it. I used to hold grudges (with others but more so with myself) so deep, that I ended up losing sight of who I was and growing to be. We get so used to our behaviors, fears, struggles and habits, that we begin to let them define us rather than just being a piece of our story. Sometimes, like myself, we just try to block certain things out and act like they never happened. I’ve learned that’s so unhealthy. You can both accept your past and let it go. Accept Your Past.

There are some of us women who have been through traumatic pasts. It’s okay to cry about it, to be angry about it, to let it change you! What’s most important to remember is that you survived! We are all survivors in some way and we shouldn’t judge. We all have experienced some type of failure that prevents us from reaching a goal. We have all gotten through something that changed us. We should respect each other as such. We all should know how well women can endure pain! You survived!

At the end of the day we have 2 choices; we can get up everyday and have a pity party for ourselves, or we can get up and take the steps we need to heal. Healing was so hard for me. It made me have to look at the ugly I saw in myself and the things that I’ve been through. That can be hard to admit. But the more I accepted and forgave myself and the people who hurt me, the more free I became. Realizing that I can’t hold on to things I can’t change. It’s how I choose to get up everyday and handle it that defines me. Letting go was the best thing I ever did for my mental health and my future. Let Go.

When we hold on, we are literally weighted down. Letting go frees us of that feeling. It allows us to begin to get to know ourselves again. We are able to build on things we like to do. Help another woman. We have the confidence that because we have gotten through our pasts, we can get through any challenges our future presents. Focus Forward.

This week I invite you to my daily challenge. Getting up everyday and choosing to look forward. Choosing not to be held down by anything that has already happened. Knowing that you deserve to grow. Choosing how you will define yourself. Its not easy and some truths will get ugly, especially if you are being real with yourself. Accept. Remember you survived. Let go. Focus Forward. To our future Ladies. THERE SHE GO!

Breathe. Hustle. Be Patient. Be Bold.

I can be the first one to tell you about frustration when it comes to being stagnant. I’ve learned, that frustration, was just the example of impatience. We all want to see immediate results, don’t we ladies? lol. Whether it’s our diets or our goals, when we don’t see results, we start being all over the place trying to see it. Instead of, focusing from the beginning. We have to allow ourselves to be planted in order to grow. 10 toes down.

You could be in school, in your career, busting your ass working multiple jobs or hell doing all 3, and the constant routine makes you feel like it’s never going to end or you’re not getting anywhere. Your goals feel like their getting further from your reach. We all have been there. The first step is to BREATHE. Remember that wherever you are, you can handle this!BREATHE!

Set your plan and don’t underestimate the power of putting it in writing. Give your all in everything you do. Allow yourself to learn and accept criticism. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. We can still think highly of ourselves and accept we have room to grow. Growth doesn’t discriminate based on your level of life. Read more. Put yourself in a position to gain more knowledge in your goals. The more you know, the better you can set your plan to get there. If you feel like you’re in a dead end career, use your time to learn about resumes and how to better yours to apply for jobs that better fit your goals. Show up for yourself. Nourish yourself. HUSTLE.

It’s important to remember that you are not always going to see immediate results and that doesn’t mean to stop the hustle. A plant doesn’t grow immediately. It takes a lot of water and sunlight for it even to sprout through the soil, let alone begin to grow to its peak. We should think the same of ourselves. We can’t stop nurturing ourselves to reach our goals and we also can’t jump back and forth from plan to plan. Be still. Be patient and the work will pay off; whether it’s graduating, getting a new job or starting your own business. BE PATIENT.

Go above and beyond for yourself and your goals! Read that extra chapter, stay that extra hour, get that certification or even pay for that tutor, that trademark! Stand out in everything you do goal-related. Separate yourself. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable and challenged. True growth comes from times of challenge. Prove to yourself, what you already know, that you were built for this. BE BOLD.

I know too often I wanted to give up, when I wasn’t seeing results and I know I’m not alone. Then I realized I would just be giving up on myself. I’ve experienced not being in the present. Being so far in the future of multiple plans forgetting what I’m supposed to be learning TODAY to get there. So this week I challenge you to look around at your surroundings and match them with your goals. Take the necessary steps to nourish yourself to grow to those goals. Be willing to learn lessons and be challenged and never ever give up! Breathe. Hustle. Be Patient. Be Bold. THERE SHE GO!